


Gravity

by Nununununu



Category: His Dark Materials (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cultural Differences, Don't copy to another site, Dreams, Feelings, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/pseuds/Nununununu
Summary: He wakes in the gondola of the balloon, the cold making his breath stream out like a plume in the bright moonlight. Hester snuggled in beside him under the furs; an ache like something’s missing hollowing out his ribcage.
Relationships: Iorek Byrnison/Lee Scoresby
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24
Collections: Just Married Exchange 2020





	Gravity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DoreyG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/gifts).



> For the wonderful DoreyG, who gave such amazing prompts <3
> 
> (Originally posted 02/08; updated for author reveals)

He’s dreaming.

They’re surrounded by hundreds of pretty little purple flowers all nodding in the breeze, while a ponderous great iceberg sits out in the bay. Hester’s perched on her haunches with her back upright and ears quivering; looking out at the water. Waiting for something – Lee’s waiting as well. Can almost feel what it is they’re waiting for – or, rather, _who_ – like an invisible chord tugging at a knot tied deep his chest.

He wakes in the gondola of the balloon, the cold making his breath stream out like a plume in the bright moonlight. Hester snuggled in beside him under the furs; an ache like something’s missing hollowing out his ribcage.

The feeling of something – someone – missing is still there in the morning. Lee swallows it down like he does his coffee, makes the drink darker and stronger than he honestly likes it in order to wake himself up, tugs the brim of his hat low on his forehead as if that will hide anything and gets to working on the balloon, all the little non-essential jobs he’s been putting off for a rainy day.

It’s not rainy, but at least it’s better than acknowledging that gnawing emptiness.

“Lee,” Hester’s ears are back, unlike in the dream.

“It’s all right, girl,” They’ve just been alone too long; that’s all it is. Both of them are in need of some company – any company, he tells himself, and not that of anyone in particular.

“You can keep telling yourself that as much as you like,” Is Hester’s opinion on the subject.

“Why I’m glad I have your permission for it; I’ll just do that then,” Summoning up a crook to his lips and a chuckle, Lee forces his voice into lightness and blows on what’s left of his coffee. Ruffles the top of his daemon’s head in the attempt to make them both feel better, and goes back to tinkering with the balloon after a breakfast of dry crackers and jerky, given they long ago ran out of bread. He’d kill for some bacon. Well, all right, maybe not _kill_ , he’s not really a fan of doing that without good cause.

But still – bacon would be just the ticket, perhaps with the addition of beans. Freshly brewed coffee with cream and sugar in it, and a good game of cards with an even better friend of an evening – not that Hester’s bad company in any sense, but still – and a chat and a catch up, and maybe even a tumble with –

With –

“Ah,” Nearly getting his hand with his spanner instead of the mechanisms he’s supposed to be adjusting, Lee gives himself a shake.

“Just what are you sighing after now instead of doing what you should?” Hopping down from the edge of the crate of rapidly dwindling supplies she’s been somewhat desultorily inspecting, Hester enquires, although her tone of voice implies she has a decent idea.

“Nice plate of bacon,” Flat on his back, squinting at the repairs he’s supposed to be making, Lee endeavours to apply himself afresh to his task.

“We both know you usually lie far better than that,” Hester sniffs, hopping up onto his stomach, and arranging herself there.

“I’ll have you know I’m always _excellent_ at dissembling,” Lee has to automatically protest, although thinking about dissembling reminds him of years ago, back when he and Hester first met Iorek –

Iorek –

Lee has to pause to take a breath in, that ache that’s been bothering him for so long now punching him brutally hard in the chest.

“It’s all right,” Hester says quietly, “We’ll be all right, Lee,” but she feels it too, he knows she does; she feels it just as sharply as him.

“Hester,” Lee gropes for her with his free hand, digs his fingers in gently amongst her fur. Can’t help but think of longer, thicker fur, and the world’s most adorable nose and –

And nothing. They screwed things up – _Lee_ screwed things up – and so that’s what they’re left with. Nothing.

“Lee, you don’t know that; we don’t know that,” Hester squirms higher up on his chest, attempting to see his face, butting her little forehead against his chin, “We’ll see him again, we’ll explain what happened and –”

“Hm,” Lee blinks a bit, then gives himself a shake, “Right, well, repairs won’t fix themselves, so –” He forces himself to concentrate on what he’s supposed to be doing and nothing more. And if his voice is awful, well, that’s –

That’s just what it is, that’s all.

\--

Next time he dreams it’s better. Worse. Better and worse both at once.

They’re back in that stretch of purple flowers again, but – in the dream – Lee’s just woken up; his eyes are still closed. A giddy smile already stretching his mouth as he rolls over and buries his face in plush fur, nuzzling happily before his brain has even begun to catch up. His heart full instead of being assailed by all that awful emptiness.

Hester’s right there beside him, tucked under his elbow, her little paws twitching contently as she dreams. So who –?

No, he knows full well who he’s nestled against. Huge strong forelegs wrap closer around him, paws the size of his head mussing his hair with breath-taking gentleness and precision as Iorek stirs, nose dipping in to investigate the crook of Lee’s neck.

“Good morning,” It feels as if the panserbjørn’s deep voice resonates throughout Lee’s entire body. His breath catches, but his mouth is already joyfully replying, still quite disconnected from his brain.

“Here’s wishing the best of all mornings to this fine husband of mine –”

He wakes at this point, wakes for real, alone and half frozen in the gondola even bundled up under his furs, Hester huddling in next to him as close as she can get. A horrible _tugging_ feeling coming from the both of them as if they’ve left something – someone – vital behind them; as if someone’s taken a sharp edge to them and carved out a part of them necessary for their continued survival.

“ _Lee_ ,” Lee’s not heard his little daemon sound so miserable in a long time, “You know this means something. It’s got to mean something. It’s _got_ to –”

“It’s just dreams, sweetheart,” He curls around her, screws his eyes closed tight, ignoring the fact he knows darn well that she’s right. His voice a whisper, but he can still hear the roughness in it, along with the shaky edge, “Just dreams.”

\--

The wind decides to get in on things and make its opinion felt towards the end of the day, when the sky is just starting to shade towards evening hues, and Lee clings grimly to the controls as he works to adjust their course as they’re buffeted about.

“Don’t be a fool, Lee,” Is Hester’s advice when he considers continuing on – the next town’s got to be not _too_ far off and they probably could make it, and there would be the distraction of alcohol and hot food, and maybe he could even rustle up some company, even if it wouldn’t be anywhere near half as good as actually seeing –

_Iorek._

The name beats inside him like his heart, like the sound of that emptiness eating away at his chest. All he – _they_ – really want to do is to turn around, to turn back time, to go back and find Iorek – who no doubt would be far off anyway, even if they did try.

“You just panicked,” Hester’s barely left his ankle all day, and it says something about how bad they’re both feeling that she’s taken to offering consolation rather than the scolding she’s been delivering him on and off since back when Lee messed everything up. She’s tucked inside his coat now while he staggers about, raising her voice to be heard over the wind, “Ran away like an idiot, but he’s not going to hate you for it surely. Iorek would never hate us. Come on, Lee, let’s just land and try not to kill ourselves doing so, and –”

“I don’t – I don’t think he’d _hate_ us,” Lee struggles to stop the balloon from spiralling out over the ocean, loses height far more abruptly than intended when the wind next decides to just _stop_ for a few seconds before starting back up, “Just maybe wouldn’t want much to do with us, that’s all.”

The very prospect is enough to make that ache inside the both of them flare up uncontrollably, Hester letting out a small noise. Hushing her apologetically, Lee makes himself concentrate firmly on the landing, casting a weary eye up at the heavens when the weather decides to contrarily settle not that long after the balloon has deflated enough they have no option but to continue setting down.

“Well,” Is Hester’s remark, when Lee’s checked the controls remain all as they should be and retrieved his hat from where it has blown off, and she’s hopped up onto the railing to see where they’ve ended up, “Who would have thought it.”

“Hm?” Something about the dryness of her tone makes Lee hurry over to join her, even as he returns his hat to its rightful place atop his head, “We’re not going to topple into the ocean, are we?”

“Nope,” Hester glances up at him and then back out at the stretch of pretty little purple flowers leading down towards the great iceberg, looming like a vast floating mountain out in the bay.

Lee feels his mouth fall open and can’t do a darned thing to stop it.

“Well, damn.”

\--

It’s perhaps inevitable that they feel like they’re waiting. Lee sees to the balloon, confirms the wind hasn’t done any damage to it or the gondola, and gives himself a stern talking to every time he catches himself looking out to sea.

“Lee,” Hester has no such compunction, back straight, eyes upright, just like in the dream. Her voice urgent, “Lee, it’s –”

“ _Iorek_ ,” Lee’s heart flies into his mouth and he’s dropping whatever it is he was holding and running before he’s even caught sight of the panserbjørn, running before his brain gets in on the act and only serves to make him run faster, Hester not only swiftly catching up, but bounding ahead.

And there is Iorek, sure enough, down by the water, his dark eyes direct upon them.

“Lee, Hester –” His voice is uninterpretable, but he has no time to say more than that, for Lee skids over the last bit of remaining distance between them and flings himself at his friend.

“ _Iorek –!”_

There’s a reasonable confusion then of man and bear and arctic hare and a whole variety of hands and feet and paws. Fur, wonderful thick soft warm fur, and the scent and familiarity and strength of the polar bear, and Lee just wrapping his arms around as much of his friend as he can as apologies fall from his mouth.

“Hester, Lee,” Iorek ends up on his side, given Lee’s knees go out from under him at some point, the panserbjørn hooking his chin over Lee’s shoulder in his own way of returning the hug, “I too must apologise for the way in which we last parted.”

“Damn it, I –” Lee had not intended to get choked up when they met again, _if_ they met again, although he knew himself more than well enough to suspect that he would. At least Hester, by his side, sounds just as bad as he does.

“You left before I could answer,” Iorek nudges Lee’s shoulder until Lee manages to pull back just enough for them to look at each other, “I was taken aback by the abruptness of your proposal, I admit, but did not in any way intend to imply it was unwelcome. I simply did not expect it.”

“You looked so shocked I thought I’d insulted you,” Wiping his face with the cuff of his coat, Lee summons up a rather more watery smile than he’d like to admit. It’s helped by the fact Iorek promptly licks him, a swipe to his cheek that’s possibly more gentle than he deserves, “I thought – well, marriage is a human thing and that maybe I’d belittled you by even suggesting it, and the fact my bond with Hester seems to have somehow turned into us being bonded with _you_ as well –”

His voice fails him. Because it’s true.

As deeply and utterly as he’s linked with Hester, Lee feels a tie binding him to Iorek. He doesn’t need to look at his little arctic hare to know she feels the exact same way too. And while this is rare, extremely rare, and only ever happened with a handful of humans and their daemons outside of stories, as far as he knows, well –

Well. Admitting it has him feeling better than he has done in _weeks_.

“Lee,” Her little nose crinkling, Hester gives Lee a nudge, before addressing Iorek, “I did try to suggest we should just discuss the matter with you and not presume.”

“I’m so darned sorry,” Is all Lee can say over again, the words cut off by a huff of startled laughter when Iorek raises a giant forepaw and extremely gently bats him around the head.

The sheer surprise of this leaves Lee chuckling, while the proximity is filling all of that awful hollowness in him back up, leaving his heart feeling like it might well just start singing instead.

“It has been as if a part of my armour is missing,” Falling back into seriousness, Iorek considers Lee and then Hester, “Being without the pair of you has been like being without a piece of my soul.”

Right, so that’s Lee welling up all over again.

“I’m sorr–” He’s prevented from apologising this time by a lick ever so close to the corner of his mouth, Iorek rumbling right up against him much like a purr.

“While marriage may be a human concept, a bond such as we share would be considered within panserbjørne culture as a very close equivalent,” Iorek sounds somewhat bashful, in fact, “I was remiss in not discussing this with you back when the connection between us became apparent. I confess I, too, was concerned you would potentially react negatively to this.”

“No,” Lee can only clutch at him, “No, Iorek, I – I want to marry you so darn badly. If we somehow could. I feel like we’ve been married since right back about when we first met, in truth.”

“I feel the same way,” Hester murmurs, pressing close to them both.

“As do I,” Iorek nuzzles her little head very carefully and then Lee’s, “So. Lee Scoresby. If you will permit me, I find I would very much like to follow the customs of your culture as well as my own, and as such greatly wish to ask if you would do me the honour of marrying me.”

In the explosion of joy that goes off in both Lee and Hester’s chests at the question, Lee’s only prevented from throwing himself at Iorek all over again by the fact he’s already sitting down. He does his best to drag Iorek over on top of him and kiss every part of his face he can reach, even so.

“Iorek. Love. _Yes_.”


End file.
